The physical, financial and relationship health issues that prove emotional weak spots.
Don't worry. This is true for everybody. The good news is that we've figured out the (Four) ways in which that happens. You see, there's a lot constantly going on in our unconscious that we are, obviously, unaware of. The key part is those nasty misleading emotions. We may be fine most of the time, but at important moments - and especially during adversity - our weakness comes out.
DO NOT TRUST YOUR GUT!
We can't say where we went astray, but from an evolutionary standpoint, we developed higher-level reasoning after emotions. And given how that all works, it must have added some advantage. The question is what. For us, the answer is simple. They added a check that emotions don't have.
That means that trusting your gut may not be a good idea.
Verify it. Why? Because you don't know what is propelling those subconscious conclusions, and those are the things that are sending chemicals and/or nerve responses throughout your body, causing the physical sensation that we call our gut, instinct, intuition, sixth sense, whatever. Some of that input may be bad, so why would you want to trust it?!?
Instead, we say to second-guess your gut. Drill down on the decision. Explain it. If it is something that you are doing in the moment, take a step back and figure it out. If it is not, you definitely have the luxury of delineating the logic in the conclusion. And definitely look to see if any of these 4 questions may be involved. Because if they are and you are not answering them properly, you are skewing reality as a result. That means you're not seeing a situation for what it really is. And if you are doing that, do you really want to act upon that bad data?!?
Our problems and conflict are our own doing.
The unfortunate aspect of emotions is that flaws in them prevent us from correcting them. This is ever evident in the coping mechanisms we develop. We are loathe to put ourselves out there. So we play ostritch, sticking our head in the sand as we self-sabotage our lives. We are not really to blame. After all, it's not like there is some defacto standard as to how to teach emotions. Until now, that is...
|Do I have Discretion?|
|Am I Good?|
We are in development during our first years of life, a period psychology refers to as attachment. If all goes well, when we turn three we have a good foundation in place. Still, even if there are flaws, they can be corrected in our youth as our brain remains forever "plastic". Now ask yourself this question.
Does anybody really understand emotions?
If you answered a resounding "No", you are on to the dilemma. Theat's because the caregivers, teachers and other mentors that provided us guidance have little clue as to what emotions should be, let alone how to imbue or improve them in someone else. As a result, whatever flaws were in place when we experience "individuation" around age 3 will still probably be present when we become adults, thereby repeating the cycle. In other words, we are screwed.
It's not your genes. It's not your chemistry It's you. And the sooner you are able to realize it *and* do something about it, the sooner you will be able to make changes to truly improve your quality of life. Isn't it about time you stopped making excuses for how you behave?