I feel unsure
Fear is common
I have problems making decisions
I look for others to do for me
I dislike change
You can be impulsive
If under-parented, arrogance or entitlement
If a person is ever seen as being energetic, this is likely the cause. After all, they have a constant feeling of butterflies in their stomach, making them hyper-aware. Simple tasks such as ordering a meal for dinner or choosing what to do can become an overwhelming task. They may even vacillate out loud, hoping that you'll decide to shut them up. Don't expect them to make plans. They may want to control things, and that includes not giving you control to help them.
These people can be seen as requiring you to walk on eggshells and can use constant alerts as reasons for being like they are. Remember, they don't trust themselves, so they're probably not going to trust you. Any attempt at convincing them their unfounded conclusions are incorrect will only be seen as your lack of seeing what is really going on. In the severe sense, they can look for others to do for them, so used to the coping mechanism of delegating their decisions to others. You need to take look out for them, after all. That's your job. Self-control is not an issue for them. After all, they will often procrastinate to avoid that choice, and when the decision becomes unavoidable, they will take the selfish route, dismissing the needs of others. Last minute packers they are.
This person will often take jobs where they do the same thing again and again. In a ritualized kind of comfort, they convince themselves that adapting is not needed, so their repetition may come as a surprise to you when the circumstances have clearly changed. And if you try to change things, their oppositional ways may come at you sideways. After all, they don't know what to do, so they find comfort in proving that you don't know what to do either. In the extreme, this person will become schizophrenic.
When we are born, we know nothing. We take cues from our environment. If that environment for the first three years of our life doesn't give us structure, it becomes part of our subconscious read of life. In this case, everything we see and hear and think is colored with the preconception "Do I know what do to here?". So how does this happen? It's actually pretty simple.
We have created a simple matrix to show you how this happens. In this instance, it is how our caregivers respond to us in general. If they fail to set boundaries or don't let us do things on our own, we don't learn how to make choices. We fail to build up our encyclopedia of ramifications which includes balancing our own selfish needs with the needs and rights of others.
|Do I have Discretion?|
|Am I Good?|