I feel defeated
Worry is common
I have problems following through
I have commitment issues
I give up easily / change my mind
I dislike responsibility
You often see gloom and doom
This person can't see the future. They constantly see reasons to stop versus obstacles to overcome. That means they will often fail to start a task even though they have decided to do it, or change their goal mid-stream to go another task. Jumping all over the place is a-okay with them.
Self-soothing is an issue as they really don't know how to deal with pain. They want guarantees in life to know that they are not going to run into some difficulty. Of course, that only means a guarantee from you. They will do no such thing. Quid pro quo just doesn't exist in their world. They will perform right here and right now, and only if it is something they have done before so that all the ins-and-outs are ever so clear to them.
This person often takes jobs where they don't have responsibility per se. They like to be in the moment and propelled by the task at hand. They are not going to be very effective at their job unless what needs to be done is clearly laid out beforehand including all the scenarios that they may encounter. This includes relationships and this is the main flaw that propel commitment-phobes. They are not strategic at all and are tactical at best, *if* you can get them to do something. Because if you don't, you'll find them doing nothing because it just isn't worth it anyway. In the extreme, this person will experience PTSD.
When we are born, we know nothing. We take cues from our environment. If that environment for the first three years of our life says we are not good, it becomes part of our subconscious read of life. In this case, everything we see and hear and think is colored with the preconception "Do I know how to succeed?". So how does this happen? It's actually pretty simple.
We have created a simple matrix to show you how this happens. In this instance, it is how our caregivers respond to us in general. If they are absent or critical when we fail we don't learn how to work through things. They need to teach us how to deal with the bumps we inevitably encounter on the road to achieving our goals.
|Do I have Discretion?|
|Am I Good?|